Dear Noelle Sloane,
Of course, this is not the actual name. I was inspired by a song lyric. This given name sounds perfect for me, and I adore it. I shared a quote on Instagram a long time ago, in early 2020, that contained a heartfelt expression. However, I haven’t had the courage to say it directly until now, and perhaps I never will.
I’m thinking about her again. It’s not the first time this has happened today, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. While I’m thinking of her, my mind begins to wander in other directions, such as: I’m thinking of her, but I’m not even sure she’s aware of my thoughts. Yes, she knows, but I quickly question those answers because it could be an ego trick, and while I usually don’t let my ego rear its ugly head, subconsciously I’m at a loss for words. I know she doesn’t require my assistance, and her life would go on as usual. But this lovely soul is anything but ordinary. It’s like a slap in the face.
Because this woman is unique, intreaging, mysterious, breathtaking, and out of the ordinary. Her eyes are as lovely as her smile. My heart beats a little faster and harder in her presence. Who am I to even try to win her heart when her heart is so much stronger than mine? I imagine her as this beautiful creature I might catch a glimpse of. But only for a moment, because I know I’ll scare her away if I attempt to reach. So, I’ll admire from afar as I used to do, hoping and praying that she’ll admire from afar. But there it is again, the ego reassuring something that can’t be reassured.
I blink, and she’s gone again. Then I’ll wait until I can see her for that brief moment, hoping that our gazes will meet. I’d give anything to wrap her in a blanket of pure love because that’s what she deserves. Not just me, but far more than she can imagine. Oh well, I’ll just keep waiting until the stars align and we become one, or the sky falls and we become none. So, as usual, I’ll think of her today and later.
If somehow you are seeing this now, just know that you deserve all and more. Last but not least, here’s a Spotify playlist I made for you because music can express my feelings. Forgive me for having a crush on you, Noelle.
